Saturday, July 19, 2008

Tomato Sandwiches

Mmmm, the bounty of summer! Delicious, garden grown tomatoes...mine aren't ready to harvest yet, but Baronner's Farm Market has bunches, and they're pretty darn good. When I drove past today the place was pretty much mobbed with patrons hoping to score some of their unparalleled sweet corn. It's the bread and butter variety, so called, I believe, because some of the kernels are such a pale yellow they are almost the color of bread, while the other kernels are a lovely shade of sweet cream butter, making a sort of checkerboard on the cob, and they all taste delicious. I ate that corn for three days this week!

The difference between Then and Now: As a child I slathered on tons of butter, a greasy smile on my face as I tore through ear after ear. And the corn was just the appetizer in my family. Then we'd move on to eating a burgers on buns, whatever salad might be served with dinner, and probably a potato dish too. Potatoes drowned in mayo. Or fried in more grease. Or baked, but topped with butter and sour cream. Lots of it.

Now I'm a vegetarian. Now I'm the whole new me, I don't need all that food. Two ears of corn are plenty for my entire dinner, maybe with a small fresh salad. And no butter. I love a little lime juice drizzled on sweet corn, topped with some organic unprocessed sea salt and chili powder.

Note: if you're going to put grease on corn, make it butter. Or olive oil. Don't even touch margarine. Not even the stuff that calls itself 'smart heart' or whatever. Just because something's name uses the word 'healthy,' doesn't mean it is. Do yourself a favor, and do a google search on margarine.

Tomato sandwiches...one of my favorite things! But the differences between Then and Now!
Then, some crap white bread bereft of any nutrition, lots of mayo (though as a kid I think I preferred Miracle Whip), iodized salt, and more mayo.

Now it's some Ezekiel sprouted grain bread, a little bit of Vegenaise, and good fresh tomatoes. Maybe a little bit of cheese, if I'm roasting an open-face sandwich in the oven. Mmmmm, it's what I am eating for lunch right now.

I still splurge now and then. I still love a few french fries--what's life without a good french fry?! I still love a little wine in the evenings...but the differences...once you've changed your way of eating, there's just no going back. All that fake food just tastes fake. And my body is thriving with real nutrition!

These are things we can all do!



I found some old photos at work today and I look at my old, fat self and am amazed I let myself live that way for so long.

As Dylan once sang: I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.

Sunday, June 22, 2008



Still getting used to the differences in the way I look...maybe it ain't Angelina Jolie, but I'm so grateful that it isn't the old me...

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Moment, The Scale, and Me

Da da da dum...

I didn't even dust off the scale this morning. It wasn't that bad.

There it was, facing me. It's LCD eye blank, awaiting the touch of my toe to awaken and...judge me. Foul Beastie. We pay money for these little monsters? We pay for this self-torture?

I can't say that I agonized last night, thinking about hopping on board the bitch. I mean, my jeans were fitting well, some of them even seemed just a wee bit looser. But it was on my mind.

"Oh please," I asked of the Universe, "please let the scale-beast be kind to me tomorrow."

Then the bargaining with self. "Well, if I stayed the same, that's ok. If I'm up more than two pounds...no, I won't think about that. I can't be. My jeans fit! but if I am, ok, don't despair. Work harder..."

And isn't it funny how a few pounds can change our bodies so much? But more than our bodies, those pounds change us. When we're down a few pounds, we walk a little taller. Straighten our shoulders a little more (I've been working on my posture; I find that yoga has begun to condition me to understand how important it is to keep a straight spine), move with confidence. But when a few pounds creep back on...we hold our arms across our tummies, or hunch a little...

But the scale was kind. I am down two pounds from my pre-holidays weight!!

Relief is a deep, deep pool of gratitude.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Eat Food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

The title quote comes from Michael Pollan. He's written books, and this wonderful article: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/28/magazine/28nutritionism.t.html?ei=5090&

Love this quote: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
That's pretty much all we need to know, isn't it? So simple, and yet...

The article is long, but well worth the read.

My friend Timberli came back from vacation with the book "Skinny Bitch." It kinda makes me feel all warm and happy inside! I've been known to bore my friends to politeness, watching their eyes glaze over while I blather on about health, health foods, the evilness of the FDA and food industries, etc. Then along comes something like "Skinny Bitch," and it makes all the stuff I've been saying for a long time fun and friendly; a colloquial, easy read. Thank you, Skinny Bitch authors.



Being vegetarian doesn't necessarily make one healthy. Potato chips, fries, cake, cheese puffys, all those things still come under the broad label of "vegetarian." But healthy they ain't.

Time to go home and do some yoga.
Fave yoga DVD: Beauty Body with Anna Brett and Ravi Singh. I have several of their DVDs, but that one has me feeling exhilerated at the end.

Countdown On!

Thursday or Friday, I'll be getting on that scale that I keep tucked under the desk in my bedroom. The beastie is a little dusty. How much can dust can weigh? Seriously. I need to know. An ounce of dust on a scale can be the barometer of our day!

I think back to my time at Weight Watchers, with all the ladies arriving wearing the lightest clothing they owned. Most wore the same clothes to weigh-in every week, to avoid unnecessary fluctuations. Then the games would begin, as they removed as much of it as possible, and took off all their jewelry too, before stepping up onto the Moment of Truth Machine. Every ounce counts on the WW Machine, and the mini-version lurking under my desk counts them too. So you see, "how much dust makes an ounce?" is a question not to be ignored!

I'll be sure to clean it well before boarding.

By the way, here's the thing about weigh-in day at Weight Watchers: after meeting, everyone would head to one of the local all-you-can-eat buffets. Weigh-in over, on to a food free-for-all.
Ugh.

My previous post, on the grossly obese who were featured on The Learning Channel, for the purposes of education and compassion, I'm sure (said with some sarcasm), might have been a little...insensitive. I'm considering revising it. Just a little of it. Not to censor myself, but out of compassion, sympathy, and empathy.

I work with a sweet young man who is nearing the point where he might one day crawl in bed and not get out. He told me, after his thin father had a heart attack, that it was time to get serious about getting in shape. At the time, he believed his weight to be in the low 400's, but it has been a long time since he was on a scale, and I would estimate him to be at least 450, but probably higher. Everything about his body looks...uncomfortable. His eyes are small slits that seem to be fighting the heavy lids above them. He walk is awkward, and he breathes with difficulty.

For all his weight, he is invisible. When you are that large, people don't see you anymore. And if they do, well, sometimes it's better not to be seen. People can be cruel.

A co-worker told me that one night when this young man came to work, he brought along three bags of groceries and a cube of Pepsi. He ate a whole pizza. Then microwaved a Hungry Man dinner. Then went to work on the chips and cakes.

What causes this insatiable hunger? What causes us to eat, and eat, and eat, as though we were hypnotized? Thoughtless eating.

Lots of things. I have many theories...thus this blog.

from Michael Pollan:

Eat Food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

It's Weight Loss Season!

We all got a little to ripe over the holidays, didn't we? A little too plump; it's time for pickin'.

Hey, I'm on that bandwagon too. Nothin' wrong with it. I did pretty well over the holidays, I suppose, but I'm still not getting on that scale. Nope. Not till two weeks. The Friday of the two weeks ending, because I always do the scale on Fridays.

Though I've been rethinking that. I always thought it was too obsessive to get on the scale every day, but maybe, to get that final 20 or so gone, I need to obsess a little more. I might have to work my way up to that. Start with two days a week and go from there. Because that scale certainly makes us more accountable, and that's part of what it takes.

Over the holidays I was watching some shows on The Learning Channel that were called things like "Big Medicine." Indeed. First, I love the irony of running those programs during the Season of Gluttony. If that's not a message not to reach for the cookies, I don't know what is.

These are the people at the max level of obesity. Piles of pale, rippling fat. Bodies that are bed-ridden, nearly unable to move. If these folks lie on their chests, the pressure on their lungs is too much to bear; the lungs might collapse, or they might have a heart attack.

They cannot bathe themselves. They cannot get out of bed to walk to the bathroom, and if they could, they would not fit through the door. The commode would not be big enough.

Man, you think when you're watching; there but for the grace of Goddess...

Television shows are created for one reason, and one reason only: to make money. No matter what lofty ideals might go into the creator's vision, it's a business in the end. Does that mean that all programming is created equally? Oh, yeah, sure, absolutely. A television show does not exist, if there isn't potential for it to make a profit.

Who profits from shows about fat people? There sure were lots of diet foods commercials during those shows. Diet foods that aren't good for us, don't nourish our bodies, and that are designed to keep us hungry and unsatisfied.

The lofty ideal is probably rooted in compassion. That we need to understand, accept, help, etc.

Uh huh.

You know, one of the men featured, who weighed in excess of 700 pounds, was filmed in his home with his wife. She was asked what her husband ate during a normal day. She seemed about to answer, when happy hubby interrupted and said "Now, you know I eat normally. It's not always about what you eat, it's your metabolism. It's wired into your DNA." That sort of happy crappy.

The camera panned through their kitchen, which was quite the mess, littered with pizza boxes, monster sized jars of Skippy, meal remnants, etc.

And I simply do not believe the guy. I can believe lots of impossible things before breakfast, but my faith falls short of eating less, exercising not, and weighing 700+ pounds. You'd have to prove it to me. I'd need a camera on that guy 24/7.

How do you get to that point? It's like there's a threshold, from being "morbidly obese," to "max obese." How do you cross that line? How do you crawl in bed one day, knowing it's forever, because your body has grown too big to move it? What kind of karma is it that you're living through?

My own body had started to have problems. I was more tired. If I stood for too long, the muscles in my outer thighs started to tingle, in a pejorative sense. Walking through the Metropolitan Museum of Art with my niece, my knee hurt so muc that I had to stop now and then to rest.

I thought my body was betraying me, because I'd always been so robust and healthy, despite the extra pounds. But it was me. I was betraying my body. I wasn't treating it well. Anthony Bourdain says the body is not a temple, but what the heck does he know? Treat your body well, maintain it, and it will do the same for you.

But I digress. Most folks at that weight never return. It's too hard. What's ten pounds gone when you have 400 to go? It's hard to measure success.

How does one get to the point of no return? I plan to never know.

Ahhhh....neglect of the blog has led to idle rambling on a Wednesday evening...
So, more of said idle rambling soon!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Two Weeks!

Ho Ho Hum.

So the holidays came. And went. And what do they bring but tons of food that I don't want to eat, but find myself nibbling on anyway? Food that makes me feel sick and bloated, but that I seem almost powerless to resist.

But I did practice lots of moderation this year. And thankfully, in my family, we have adopted themes for Christmas dinner. Last year: Italian. This year: Chinese. Yes, we ate egg rolls, veggie lo mein, stir fried snow peas, rice, etc., on Christmas Day. And we made everything ourselves except the egg rolls. So the dishes I made were plenty healthy, with lots of veggies.

Now Christmas Eve, well, that was another matter. Fabulous lasagna, salad, garlic bread...
and don't get me started on the wine and whiskey that flowed freely through the season...

So okay. It's now January 2nd, and I won't get on the scales for two weeks. Cop-out? I don't care. Two weeks.

But bravely, I did go shopping yesterday, hoping to find another of a favorite shirt that somehow sprouted a hole. No luck, but I tried on some jeans in my size (10), (and how crazy is that, to try on jeans on New Year's Day?!) and they still fit quite well. *Insert sigh of relief here!*

My indulgences are getting fewer. It's simple: I don't feel as well when I eat poor quality food. It weighs me down, literally and figuratively.

More soon...
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