What I eat. Part Two.

Anything I want.

It's true. No food is off limits. That would give the food power over me, and anyone who knows me well, knows that I don't give up my personal power. Nope. Not even to food.

As soon as I say "I'll never eat cheesy poofs again," the cheesy poofs are in control.
They become all I want. I look at them longingly in the grocery store. I read the label; oh god, how much hydrogenated fat per serving? And what are those six things I can't pronounce? Shouldn't they just be made of poof and cheese? Exactly what are natural flavorings, and how do they compare to that stuff that just doesn't seem natural at all? And can't I just have one bag? One leetle bag?

No! says the internal food nazi. No cheesy poofs for you! Only fat girls eat bags of cheesy poofs!

OK, I say to the food nazi. What if I buy the cheesy poofs from the health food store?

See...that's how it is. The food becomes obsession. If I want cheesy poofs, I have them. It's just that I don't want them much anymore. They leave me feeling...tired, bloated, sick. I ate one barbecue potato chip at work today, just to say I could. It tasted disgusting.

I know how it feels to be terrified that all that comfort food might be gone, forbidden. When your road is paved with junk, it's hard to see the beautiful yellow brick underneath. You and I, we love the junk.

I hated the idea of eating strictly healthy foods. It was a sometimes very rocky path that brought me to this point, and I'm grateful for every wobbly step.

So what do I eat, really? Oh, the things that scared me not so long ago.

Here is today's food intake:

Breakfast: smoothie (banana, a little frozen fruit, and a bunch of nutrients that don't taste so good unless disguised in a smoothie)

about 3/4 cup Ezekiel almond cereal, with a handful of raisins and a few extra nuts

snack: a delicious locally grown winesap apple. I bought a half bushel of these beauties.

Lunch: two Ezekiel tortillas topped with a couple of small tomatoes, red bell pepper, cucumber, capers, and a little vegenaise (it's a yummy mayo substitute) mixed with dijon mustard. And about an ounce of delicious organic raw cheddar cheese.

Dinner: small handful of Mary's Gone Crackers, one Qorn fake chicken pattie, and a veggie stir fry made with olive oil, onions, garlic, carrots, mushroom, and asparagus. Small handful of dates.

I don't count calories or fat, either.

To be continued...